It’s such a perfect day outside. I’d just love a day of hanging around the house, laying on the front lawn, getting washing done and maybe walking into the bakery at Wilberforce.

Unfortunately there’s things to do and places to go and people to see. That also means getting out of my pyjamas.

It’s a shame really.


Okay, so tonight I’m typing straight into my dashboard whatsit. This is all due to the fact that the laptop got the ol’ fdisk treatment tonight (thank you Alan) and I haven’t installed Office yet. I can actually click on links and load webpages and it actually works!!!! And I am having conversations right now on MSN and none of my messages are bouncing back!

It’s a revelation I’m telling you.

Because I’m typing directly into this thing there is a massive likelihood of typos. I would like to be one of those people who can spell, but I’m just not.

While yabbering to Jo-fus online tonight I was talked into doing an online personality test. The last one of these online tests I did (the political compass one) told me I was a socialist and more left than Ghandi, so I’m understandably apprehensive about these things. That and I hate all that categorization.

ANYWAY. It was interesting. I mean, I’m sure you get back answers you relate to because YOU fill the damn questions in. The personality appraisal you get back is going to be accurate in your perception, because it’s really only based on your own assumptions about yourself. Or something like that – to be honest I’m so tired I’m a little delerious. Anyway according to my answers to the questions –

Your personality stands out from the average person’s particularly in the areas of:

  • Your High Curiosity Level

  • Your High Emotional Reactivity Level

  • Your High Need for Variety

  • Your High Empathy/ Sensitivity Level

Yeah, okay, probably. Also –

You scored 40 in the area of extroversion/ introversion, which means that your energy is directed primarily inward, rather than outward. Your mixed score in this trait creates an interesting and alluring combination of traits: You are social yet also very reflective and introspective. You like to be around people, but too much interaction drains your energy. You need to retreat every once in a while in order to recharge your batteries.

Little bit :|.

Tonight driving home the moon was fairly impressive. It’s large in the sky even though it’s only a half moon. I always found it odd that people write/sing/talk about the moon ‘hanging’ in the sky. To me the sky was always like a blanket covering all of us – a heavy drape dotted with bright spots. The moon to me is more like a blotch in the sky – kinda like one of those potato stamps you made as a kid. It’s difficult for me to see the sky as this huge, limitless black void, interdispersed with solid objects that look, from our viewpoint, to be glowing. Anyway, the moon was big and shiny tonight and that made me smile.

Through the open window
I think the singing went outside
and floated up to tell
all the stars not to hide
’cause by the time church let out
the sky was much clearer
and the moon was so beautiful
the ocean held up a mirror

Amanda hits town tomorrow. I’m a little nervous about this – I have no idea how the conversation is going to run over the next couple of days. That and I’m not sure about taking her to the birthday party tomorrow night. Oh well, I’m sure it’ll all work itself out.

I really need to stop wasting emotional energy on worrying about shit like that.

My long weekend is going to not really be a long weekend. Monday morning I have to get up at 5:30AM (Oh. My. God.) to drive Amanda to the airport to fly to Canada. Then, I have to get in the car and drive straight to work. I will then probably go home and crash.

My day has been filled with very odd interactions with people. Strange, existential conversations with virtual strangers and awkward, somewhat shallow moments with people I know very well. Today the world is whacky.

God damn it, I was really going to be in bed before Meds by Placebo came on Rage. Oh well. I do really need to sleep now though.

The butter melts out of habit

People are creatures of habit I think. I’d like to think that I’m the sorta girl who can roll with the punches and is happy to take on whatever comes, but I find myself, even when I’m away from home, falling into routine.

I do a bit of travel for the job – I mean, for anyone who ever met me that’s pretty obvious. It’s never for very long, but I spend a decent amount of my time, when you add it all together, in hotels and airports. Even though I’m usually heading to different places to do different things, there’s some stuff I’ve found myself routinely doing –

  • Deliberately not eating before leaving for the airport so I can pick up sushi while I’m there. These are the things living in Wilberforce drives me to. Note to anyone anywhere out there who cares – if you open a sushi place in Windsor, you are guaranteed at least one office full of customers, okay?

  • Listening to either Glosoli by Sigur Ros or The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades is Out to Get Us! by Sufjan Stevens on repeat while I’m at the gate waiting for the plane to board.

  • Picking up a Jilly Cooper novel from home to read on the plane, even though I’ve A) read them all at least once before and B) am in the middle of 2 or 3 other books at any one time. There’s something comforting about reading absolute trash that I’ve read before while I’m away from home. This trip it was ‘Rivals’.

  • Packing my every day toothbrush, even though I have one specifically for travelling so as to avoid the whole packing thing.

  • Packing the same pair of pyjama bottoms and bed socks for every trip to sleep in.

  • Hitting the snooze button. This is not something I do at home. I may lay in bed awake for about half an hour, listening to ABC 702, but as soon as the alarm goes at home I’m awake. When I’m away I hit snooze at least twice, and because of that I have to set the damn alarm 20 minutes earlier.

  • I call Angela in Wagga. She and I have been friends for many, many years, and we keep in touch pretty regularly. I usually think of her when I’m away from home for some reason, so I call her.

What is it about hotel rooms that make you feel the aloneness? Maybe it’s the lack of normal distractions or just the general feeling of being out of context. I don’t know what it is, but I usually end up getting the urge to call people. Generally, at home, there’s nothing I avoid more.

I was glad to be able to come home tonight. It actually wasn’t that hard a sell – missing a formal dinner at $150 a head where she can network more effectively than I can, and tomorrow the workshops didn’t require us both to be there. Also, there is a significantly large issue at work that needs dealing with tomorrow. I was more than happy to get on that plane tonight, because I was half hoping early this week that I could do it if I worked things the right way. There’s nowhere I’d rather be tonight than home.

I do really love Melbourne though. The conference was at the Sofitel which is on Collins Street, and the cocktail/reception/wanky thing was on the 35th floor. It was a good 10 minutes before I even noticed the view and when I did I made a noise like ‘ooooooh!’ Very impressive and I’ve always loved the city at night.

I wrote a whole post last night about the hotel I stayed in, but then I hit something I wasn’t supposed to, and sort of lost it, and then couldn’t be assed finding it again. It was all at once the most awesome and weirdest hotel I’ve ever stayed in. Actually, it was a motel, one of those road side motels with the rooms running in two stories around the car park, and it was built in the 1970s. All the d??cor is still original, I’m sure of it. The most hilarious thing was the postcards in reception – they actually had postcards made from photographs taken of the rooms. I picked up a few and I will send some and keep one or two. I don’t think enough people send postcards. Apparently I do it more than average.

Who doesn’t like getting postcards though?

Black as night

I’m not quite sure how to sum up the last few days.

Ah, hectic? Let’s recap –

First, there are the stupid hours at work. I’ve had a bit of enough of that to be honest. I’m not sure it’s going to let up this week either, but there you have it.

Secondly, there was the manic panic on Friday night because I thought the cousin was coming to stay, which turned out to be not so true. Then, Saturday morning H & T came out. It was weird for about the first hour or so – I was fairly sure they wanted to be anywhere but here, so there was some weirdness. Turns out everyone was being a bit silly (who’d have thought?) and it was all fine. Much fun was had at Colo River, then when Tony heads back to Newtown, Hell and I head into town, drop off an engagement ring, then back here. We start drinking about 4PM and spend a good couple of hours swooning at Christian Slater circa 1990.

Thereafter came a lot more drinking and playing guitar and drinking and talking and drinking. It was So. Much. Fun.

Sunday it was into the city to drop Hellen off, then across to Manly to pick up a CD rack for Mum (at least, I think it’s a CD rack. It’s all in bubble wrap and I’m too scared to undo it). I head home about 1PM and notice 2 pretty large smoke plumes coming from the general direction of Wilberforce. I try to get on to the Putty Road and was diverted 3 times before I finally made it to Kurmond Road – that’s enough to panic a girl right there. I get home to find that while nothing is burnt to the ground yet, the power is out and no one on the row is quite sure where the smoke is coming from or which way it’s heading.

2 days of no power. It’s amazing the perceived mental epiphanies one can have while it’s pitch black and you have no light bar a candle and nothing to do bar think. It’s a dangerous thing indeed and something I’m sure I’ll be writing about over days to come. Something about those two nights is still unsettling me on the inside.

There’s other stuff, like Debbie and Alan coming back, Brenda coming back tomorrow, and other stuff at work, but to be honest I’m tired as hell. I’m going to go to bed now, because tomorrow I fly to Melbourne and I have to think for 2 days solid about skills shortages and visa crises.

So, mysterious world of the internets, I will be back on Thursday or Friday. Don’t go too crazy.

The stars are going out

In hospitals and schools
Airports and banks and bars
Big ones on street corners
Little ones driving by in cars
Glowing through countless
Bedroom curtains at night
That 20k tone
And that pale blue light
Saying –

Daddy knows best
Yes, this is the news
In 90 second segments
Officially produced
And aired again and again and again
By the little black and white pawns
Of the network yes men

Decree – Ani DiFranco

So a link to NBC Newsweek was sent to me this morning by Alan (who is back from the wilds of Croatia and Hungary etc., which is good for me because I run a little short of people to rant politically with). The whole point he was sending it through was the following –

Notice something there about the front covers of the worldwide Newsweek editions? Europe, Asia and Latin America have all led with the disaster in Afghanistan. What does the US edition lead with?

An article and photo montage about a female photographer who used to shoot for Rolling Stone.

I looked at her stuff. It’s really, really good. The photo she took of Jack and Meg White is amazing and she seems to have had a particularly interesting life. STILL – c’mon, how blatant is that? Could the media control in that country BE more obvious? I just fail to see how that country can ever turn around from the monstrous crash it’s heading for when the people don’t even hear the truth. So the US is a form of democracy – what good though is the power of the people if they are ignorant to the truth? If they’re not armed with accurate information to make an informed decision? It’s scary when you think about that in the context of the next election – if the media over there is feeding sugared line after line to the public about the mess the US is making in the Middle East, there’s no way they’re going to make the right decision in 2008.

And as scary as that is that’s not their fault.


Do I sit here and get some more work done, or do I go home and sit in the dark with no electricity staring at the walls? Oh the options!

Hurry the fuck up Integral Energy – talking to myself in the dark is gettin’ old fast.

Twirl like a little girl

So I just read this interview on Music for Kids Who Can’t Read Good with the band Shearwater. They spoke about, among other things, their recent tour with the Mountain Goats. Besides making me want to hear music by Shearwater really badly, it was really fun to read.

There is not enough twirling in this world if you ask me.

What was that like touring with the Mountain Goats? They’re one of my favorite bands.

T: Awesome, Totally Great.
K: They were great guys.
H: I thought it was really interesting to be in the middle of the set and Jonathon was giving everything and I looked over to the side and there’s kind of this window and I could see into Darnielle’s dressing room. And he’s in there twirling, his arms were up and he’s mouthing the exact same lyrics, belting them out.
Me: I saw him at Pitchfork Fest and I noticed him backstage watching a few of the other bands playing.
T: He’s really well-versed in his death metal.
K: They’re also really good about picking out cool bands and taking them on tour with them.

Coming up on infra-red

Dear Alex Lee,

Even though you are not a permanent part of Placebo, your snakey guitar moves and crooning background vocals were the highlight of my night. Also – just how fucking tall ARE you?!

Welcome to the celebrity crush list.


I’d not become a cephalopod

Every now and again I’ll read back over some stuff that I’ve written here if I’m either looking for or trying to remember something. Some stuff makes me cringe, but I guess you get that. I have a feeling that post I wrote last night is going to be fairly cringe-worthy at some stage, if it isn’t already. I was feeling very, very sorry for myself. Unfortunately because I don’t really verbalise stuff to anyone in real time, it all seems to manifest itself here. I guess that’s the whole idea though, right?

And eventually, regardless, I do get over myself 😉

Ultimately it’s up to me how I react to pressure and stress. Still, I’m not sure I want to be the sort of person who is in control of their emotions every second of the day. What happens to a person who loses the ability to act and feel spontaneously? I don’t even want to think about that, because the idea is just terrifying. Sure, a person who is able to keep check on how much any given situation will affect them decreases their ability to get hurt, upset and angry. Is that really a good thing though? I think to feel anger and hurt is just as important as happiness and joy. There is no balance otherwise. I wish often that I was less all or nothing when it comes to every day things, but when it boils down to it I’d rather be that way than lose any ability to feel at all.

How much difference is there really between happiness welling up inside of you when you hear a song that you love, and that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when someone says something (consciously or otherwise) that hurts you? I’m sure it all comes from the same place. If losing the hurt meant losing the joy I’d line up for the kick in the guts any day.

I’m sure there’s a balance between being all heart on sleeve and being allusive and mysterious. Showing all your emotion to the world can be hair-raising at times, but people who have the mysteriously allusive vibe going are just as painful to deal with.

Anyway, we’re resuming scheduled programming. There will be more posts about bananas and Adam Spencer and the new Love Outside Andromeda album and less posts about the blargh.

And the world will rejoice.