Coming home

April 23rd, 2006

I just realised I haven’t yet written properly about any of the bands I saw at The Great Escape (well, except for the Mountain Goats). All in time I guess. We have photographs of both ourselves and most of the bands we saw, so I might get around to posting some of those and writing about it all then.

So I went and looked at the house today. Rather than making the decision in my mind, it’s kinda made it worse. I love love love it. Without me ever having been there before, it feels like home. But there are more questions now. Like, can I really live in something that small long term (because I don’t want to need to move for a long time)? For what it is, do I really want to spend that much money? I know now is too soon for me to buy – by giving in to what I want right now, am I making the next 2 or 3 years harder than they need to be?

Also, the second bedroom is really just a tiny little corner with walls around it. I could get a single bed and maybe a bedside in there, but very little else. What I really need is a second bedroom – I’m actively discouraging any family visiting, but history has shown me I can’t hide from them forever. And when they come stay, I need a spare room to put them in. That’s really the main reason I need to move. The whole of the inside of the house looks even smaller in person – it was kinda quaint in the photographs, but definitely tiny up close.

Like I had guessed, the bathroom and kitchen would eventually need doing. The kitchen is already at that point where everything has a permanent yellow tinge and the benches etc. kinda always look dirty. It happens in old kitchens, I get that, but it would have to be sorted out at some point. When I turned the taps on there was a bit of clunking, but I guess that’s to be expected.

Added to all this, I think there’s some big shit going down at work. There have been mysterious meetings this week with accountants, and my pay was late going in. My gut tells me something’s not right. The auction for the house isn’t until June 6, so I have some time. I’m trying to talk Dad into coming up and checking it out – he will know what to look for and help me be sensible about it.

Do I want to be sensible? You can’t always be sensible. Still, I suppose with something like this it doesn’t hurt. And for some reason I keep coming up with reasons to say no. I need to figure out if that’s because it’s not right, or because I’m a big scaredy cat. Time will tell.


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