Friday

Around a week ago I noticed a dark grey spot the size of a 10 cent piece on the architrave above the window in our bedroom. I kept making a mental note to look at it properly and remove it, and I just haven’t got there this week.

Tonight, though, when I looked at it I noticed it had changed shape.

On closer inspection I’ve realised it’s not dirt, or fluff, or mould from the rain.

It’s a nest of teeny, tiny spiders. Hundreds and hundreds of them.

And now I’m not sure what to do. Do I leave them there and never sleep again? Or do I kill them and feel the weight of ending hundreds of tiny spidery lives?

I don’t think they’re going anywhere tonight. I’m going to sleep on it.

I got a text message yesterday from my ex-boss. The job I left around 8 months ago. When the notification popped up on my phone I had a violent negative reaction. One that surprised me a lot actually. I know I have negative feelings about that workplace and what happened there, but I thought I had moved on from a lot of it.

I’m a lot happier now. I am really happy with my work situation (for now). I am bigger and better than all of them.

And yet, one text message and I am back in those feelings. I felt physically sick and it took a good hour to shake it.

She had had a dream about me. Is that weird? Weird that she dreamt it, and also weird that she told me about it? I feel like she might also have some leftover feelings about my time there. If the energy in the world works in the way it should, she should have some residual feelings about it too.

And has hopefully learned as much from it as I have.

Today I am grateful for Fridays. I don’t hang out for them anywhere near as much as I used to (by necessity), but I still look forward to them.

A positive thing about myself today: I am a really good dog mum. I might have been a really good people mum too, but that definitely was never on the cards haha. My dogs love me. I do a good job providing everything that they need. And I have turned a little, terrified dog into a loving (although still very nervous) pupper.

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