So tonight I started writing a whole rant about men and woman and sharing the world. Also about the definition of feminism, and whether the actual form of the word was detrimental to its function. It kinda got away from me though, and delved into relationships and patriarchy and a bit of a political rant. And then that lead me to carry on for a bit about hip hop and how a lot of men in the world seem to actually dislike and/or be uncomfortable around women.
There’s no way I can touch on that stuff in one night. You can see my problem.
So I’m going to take the 12 pages I wrote and work on it. And maybe I’ll post it. It’s good, in a way, because it’s helping me work some stuff out in my head. I read a lot and I listen a lot – stopping the listening and starting the processing of the information is probably healthy.
It all started with someone at work apologising for being a snarky cow, and finishing with ‘it’s because I have PMS’. She then went on to say this might mean she’s snappy for the next day or two, like it was a decent excuse.
Man do I lack patience with stuff like that. I understand it to a point because I live it every month just like SHE does, but using it as an excuse is dangerous. The second you do shit like that you give other people the power to take you less seriously. You’re effectively devaluing your own opinion and actions.
Anyway, I need to stop before I start again.
In other, rather worrying news, I’ve lost a whole CD of photos. Not just any photos either – all my photos from Ecuador. I haven’t laid eyes on them since I first got back from South America – like, the day I got back. I’ve known they were missing since then, but I thought it was because I hadn’t really looked properly. But now I can officially say I’ve looked properly. I’m going to have to go through every CD at work (because of course I didn’t label the fucker) and I’m also going to have to phone Selina and make sure she doesn’t have them. Man o man I hope I can find those photographs.
I’ve been seriously thinking about buying a digital camera. Not a great big fancy one, but just one I can carry around with me. Sometimes (like the last two nights at work) stuff happens that you want to capture. Particularly now I’m posting here regularly, I’d like to post photos occasionally as well.
It’s funny; I wasn’t sure when I set this thing up how committed I would be to using it. I’ve always kept a paper journal but this is a whole different kettle of crab. Last week when I was looking through the archives I felt a little pleased about how many words I’ve accrued since I started. They might be messy, hastily strung together words, but they’re all mine.