Two days of being at home is definitely enough. I think it was at about 3:30PM this afternoon, when I was sitting on the couch, twitching, watching Play School that I figured I wasn’t cut out for a life of unemployment. The time was good, though. My head feels freer than it has in months.
It’s nice, too, that I’m missed at work. As much as I know how much I do at that place it’s good to know it’s not all in my head. It seems a lot of what I’ve been trying to achieve the last few months is making myself more obsolete – i.e. trying to get people to work for themselves and think outside the square. It’s reassuring that regardless of any of that what I offer to the place is necessary.
It’s weird to be going away and not be rushing. I’m pretty much good to go, and all I have to do is put clothes on in the morning and load the car. It feels nice, but a little odd to be this organised.
Today I had time to do things I haven’t had a chance to do for a long time. There’s something very good about spending nearly an hour in the shower and coming out scrubbed and washed and exfoliated and moisturised. I smell like citrus right now, and it’s heavenly. I desperately need a haircut though. I started drawing again, not anything in particular, just my guitar and my hands and things about the house. It takes some time for it to just come again. Turns out all I needed was headspace for the motivation to come, because I was genuinely excited about it. I’m keen to see what canvases Nathan has for me in Wangaratta, and I’m trying to figure out how I can permanently set up my easel here without selling my bed or my couch.
I’ve been reading tonight about studio lighting. The light in my bedroom, or anywhere else I have where I can paint right now, is really crappy. I need to find a portable light source that doesn’t fuck around with the colour of the paint pigment after dark. The colour of paint can change so much between day light and artificial light, and I will really only get time in the evenings. I know what sort of light I need, but getting it portable will be interesting.
I’m faced as well with little to no internet access for the next week. I’m not sure how I feel about that, because my nightly ‘read about pointless things and write about how boring my life is’ ritual is kinda comforting. Oh well, pitching yourself outside of comforting rituals is what life is all about really. Right?
I am really, really excited about Melbourne too. Nathan is coming with me, so the 2 days promise to be full of all sorts of fun and debauchery. He will most certainly not dig the gallery, but that’s okay. It’s great to share something like that with a likeminded person, but I’m equally happy to do it on my own.
Ack! My fish. God damn. I’m probably going to have to get Alan to come over and feed them while I’m gone. I guess I could ask Steve next door, but I’m not sure how I feel about him being in my house. I probably should give him more notice than a few hours, too 😉
6 hours of music in the car tomorrow, and I plan to stop at Berrima just because I have never been there before. Sounds to me like great gobs of fun.