Alchemy

December 28th, 2005

Oh. My. Head.

I think one of the best kinds of happiness is when you feel it because you
see it in the people you love. Happiness and gratitude that they’ve been
where they have, and landed where they are, and found each other. A lot of
the happiness I feel tonight comes from that.

Each day that I was in Wagga I felt I was losing a little more of myself.
The last 2 days I have gained that back, and then some. Amazing friends,
conversation that matters, donkeys, an infinite black sky with a million
stars and 21 year old scotch. The thing that surprises me more and more
about friendship is how remarkable the subtleties are – it’s what you don’t
say, as much as what you do say, that matters.

I really can achieve anything. We all can.

One of my all time favourite quotes is from Brett Whiteley –

‘Everyone reaches a point in their life where they must either change or
cease.’

I first came across that quote in 1994, during Art while I was doing my HSC.
The gravity of it hit me at the time, and I’ve mentally held on to it since
then, perhaps as much because of his (at the time) relatively recent death
as well as how applicable it may or may not have been to my own life. It
has only been the last 12 months though that the true power of those words
have become apparent. It’s funny what ultimately shapes the way you think
and your eventual approach to things.

Today I drove from Cowra to Clarendon. I think I knew somewhere in my mind
Carcoar was around that way, but for some reason it didn’t register when I
knew I would be driving home that direction. As I was driving along I got
this weird sense of deja vu about the landscape. Then, I saw a sign for
Carcoar and it all made sense – Brett Whiteley spent a lot of time in
Carcoar and around Bathurst in I think the early 70′s. Some of his
paintings from that time have for a long time been favourites of mine.
There is just something nice about stumbling across something unexpected
like that – I took time out to look around, to pay attention to the towns
and the landscape and to try and see it through his eyes. It’s probably a
strange thing to say, but I sort of felt privileged to be able to do it, and
lucky that I didn’t miss that opportunity.

Actually, the whole drive was great. Big windmills (of justice) from the
wind farm that again, I think I knew was out that way, but failed to
remember. How can people think they’re ugly? I think they’re amazing.
Also, just driving along in my filthy car with great music and/or the cricket on was the
perfect thing to do this morning.

Reality hit me square in the face this afternoon when I get to the office to
have a client waiting for me in reception (2 hours early?!?). Also, there
was a power cut around 10AM, and after the power came back on they sat
without internet access for 3 HOURS until I got there because they couldn’t
figure out for themselves that perhaps they should CHECK THE MODEM WAS
TURNED ON. Do I really need to write procedure for everything?

Christ.

So tonight my body is wrecked, but my mind is clear as a bell. Sleep. Sleep is good.


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