Sunday

January 22nd, 2006

Big weekend full of music, vodka, movies, a whole lot of lesbians, and meeting new people. But it was just what I needed.

Last week was just shitty. Work was horrible, I wasn’t sleeping at all, and my mind was a mess. It’s hard to get any clarity at all in your mind when you’re running on an average of about 2 hours sleep and every time you turn around someone is asking something else of you. My weekend, though, was surrounded by people and places and it was a lot of fun.

Friday night was interesting. It started out innocently enough, seeing a movie with Brenda for her birthday. After the movie about 6 of us from the office (sans Brenda) kicked on for a drink. When we got there, and sat down, I saw her right away. She was quite a distance away, and had her back to me, but I don’t think it would have mattered if it were near dark or she was at the opposite end of the pub – I still would have seen her. And it was bizarre, because had you asked me 15 minutes beforehand how I would react when seeing her I would have shrugged and gone ‘meh’. But my heart near stopped and I became really awkward and I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Particularly as some scouting on my part found out that she was there with Emma. So I did the only thing I COULD do really – I went over and said hi.

And it was fine. I coped, and she seemed really excited to see me. I was surprised how much, actually, because the last couple of weeks I wasn’t sure if it was me avoiding her or her avoiding me. Turns out, from some of the comments she made, it was the former. We spoke for about 45 minutes, just about Peru and how things had been since she had been back, then Emma came over looking really dirty (completely ignoring me) and she went back to their table.

She came back over to our table around 30 minutes later, and stayed chatting for about an hour. Emma by this stage looked really unhappy, and to be honest I’m not sure I blame her. We were having the sort of conversation you can only have with someone you’ve travelled in a third world country with, and it was a little hard for her to join in. So when she came and sat down with us things got really awkward and quiet.

But ultimately it was good. I came away from the whole thing feeling really grown up and like I coped with it okay. I think seeing her again, in that situation, was a good thing – no one on one pressure for either of us. And we both came out relatively unscathed. Moving right along and alla that.

Saturday was fun. I don’t think I’ve seen, ever, so many lesbians concentrated in the one area. Suz looked like she was having fun, and apart from 2 or 3 times when I wanted to punch Wendy (I mean, fuck, insecure much?!), it was good. I met new people and had conversations about James Joyce, TS Elliot, Marxism and Salman Rushdie. They were a really good group of people and I really enjoyed talking to them.

Today was late awake, breakfast at Caf?? C (BACON!@%!), home to washing and sleeping on the couch, and getting increasingly depressed at the state of our cricket team. With any luck they’ll actually PLAY on the 5th and not just fold like big Nancy boys.

Spending time with Hellen and Tony is always good for my head. I see what they’re going through right now, and the strength people find through things like this is amazing. The bigger the setback, the more strength you gain from it, and they will be strength personified when they make it to the end :)

There’s more. More than just step by step narrative of my weekend. But it’s having trouble coming, and I actually feel tired. I figure I should go with the tired and try for sleep – gift horses and alla that.

And I need to find a way to be two people this week. I think it’s the only way I’m going to get everything done.


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